Pizza is important

Why is pizza important?  Two reasons:  Everybody but the grouchiest curmudgeon loves pizza and it's a really good way to use up random bits of food.

First, the crust.  While I promised to free you from recipes, see rule #5 in the first post.  Admittedly, baking provides its own set of challenges, so unless it's your profession, you probably need to somewhat adhere to a formula to ensure that it's food and not glue that you end up with.  Luckily, pizza is something that I make often enough that I can remember the ratios without looking them up. You could probably just put the amounts on a post-it note inside of a cupboard.

• 3 cups flour (plain all-purpose, though you can substitute up to half for wheat flour or bread flour)
• A packet or a bit less than a tablespoon of instant yeast (you can use the kind you add to water to proof, but its harder and won't make a noticeable difference)
• At least a teaspoon of salt (do not skip)
• One tablespoon of olive oil (or other oil or melted butter)
• One tablespoon of honey or sugar (optional)
• One cup of warm water

Mix the dry ingredients together, then everything else.  If the dough is too sticky, add some more flour.  If you can't get it to come together add some more water. Either way, add a very small amount at a time.  You can also throw in some chopped fresh or dried herbs if you're fancy.

Once you have a nice dough ball, knead for 5 minutes. Kneading is basically shoving it around and squashing it - there's no right way as long as you are not tearing up the dough. Most people use a floured surface. I usually knead it directly in the bowl I made it in or knead it in my hands since I'm too lazy to clean the floured surface at this point.

Put it back in the bowl, cover with a towel or plastic wrap, and leave for about an hour until it's twice its size. Alternatively, throw it in the fridge and deal with it tomorrow. Or throw it in the freezer and deal with it whenever.

Once it has doubled in size, fold the dough a few times to return it back to its original size and squash the air out. You're now ready to go.

Turn the oven on as high as it will go - it'll need at least 15-20 minutes to get anywhere near hot enough.

This recipe will make 4 small pizzas, 3 medium, or two biggish pizzas. If you can't eat it all now, make it all now and take the rest with you to work tomorrow for lunch. Or the dough will keep two days in the fridge and indefinitely in the freezer.

Flour a work surface (i.e. the counter) and divide the dough into however many pizzas you are making. Roll out the dough with a rolling pin (or wine bottle if you don't have one) and place either on a greased tray large enough for the pizza base, or, for the fancy, on a heated baking stone with polenta (course corn flour) sprinkled on it.

My baking stone is actually a large terra cotta flower pot base that I got cheap at the hardware store when I decided to bake a bunch of bread. We do one pizza on this and the others on regular metal tray. The one on the stone is easier to get off, but not much other difference.

The sauce:
You don't need pizza sauce.  Leftover pasta sauce (red, white, pesto) will work, as will BBQ sauce, pureed tomatoes, or just plain olive oil brushed on with some chopped garlic and herbs.  The point of the pizza is to get rid of the stuff in your fridge, not add to it.  You can even skip the sauce.

The toppings:
This is the true beauty of the pizza - anything goes.  Here is where you get to look at what you have and imagine what flavors go well together and work with it.  If you're a mediocre gardener like me, and don't know how to highlight that one pathetic eggplant you managed to grow this year, put it on a pizza.

Some tips:

• Meat should be cooked.  Bacon makes most things better, but leftover chicken, sausage, carne asada, salmon (if there is such a thing as leftover salmon) are all great.  Deli meats are also fine.
• Vegetables - while raw is fine, if you have leftover grilled or sauted veggies, these are even better. Pickled and canned ones work as well (corn, olives, etc.), as does salsa. You could probably even put leftover chinese or other takeout food on it and be fine.
• Cheese - mozzarella, while delicious, is not the only good cheese on pizza.  In fact, it doesn't even have to melt to be good.
• Herbs - add some if you have some growing or have some leftover.  Garlic or ginger are also nice if you like strong flavors.

Now that you have your truly stunning flavor creation, put it in the oven for 10-12 minutes - or as long as you can without burning it.
That's it.

(Fortunately our pizza baking skills are better than our photography skills.  Note to self, no more pictures of partially-eaten food.)